Sunday, May 10, 2015

Mothering the Motherless

When you do not grow up with your biological mother you are motherless. So many have a stand in mother or mothers but deep down you are motherless. I can't speak for those who were adopted at birth or for those who were too young to have remembered their biological mother but for those who knew their mom and then didn't have her during their childhood years are motherless women. Many become motherless moms. The loss could have been intentional, by death or even unintentional. I'm speaking  my perspective here so if you have something to share, please leave a comment. 

I'm one of those motherless moms. I was old enough to know that I had a mother who chose a life without me. I never felt like I was enough for anyone or for anything I did because I was given away by the person who gave birth to me. Who would do this? Years ago when I was in college and at a counseling appointment, the counselor told me that by giving me away it was her act of love. She knew that she couldn't mother so gave me away. I have never agreed with that statement and I never will. I think she was extremely selfish and ran away and tossing away her commitments. I've been motherless for well over 35 years. If she is reading this blog, please do not try and reconnect with me. I've forgiven you and your actions well over 20 years ago. I have no desire to know you as your past has taught me to never trust you. (Oh don't worry my father gave me away, too and I have zero trust in him as well!) So his action hurt me in other ways but that of course isn't for a mother's day post. 
orphans

So that is why I am who I am today. Today is "Mother's Day" which has always been bittersweet to me. Sure I had women in my life who were like a mom but I didn't have a mom. So being a mom didn't mean much to me until these humans were born (see above photo). Now that I know what a mom is,  I'm better for it. It is true on the job training 24/7 365 a year for the past almost 21 years. These women haven't fired me, yet and I hope that they never do!

Giving thanks and praise to God today and every day since their birth and for my husband, Mark with whom these 3 bouncing baby girl blessings came about.
orphaned

So motherless moms can turn out ok! They can still care for those little ones they give birth to. No matter what, do give forgiveness to the one who is no longer with you. It will give you so much peace. How do you mother the motherless moms? Motherless moms can and will  find mom role models in those around them. I know that I did. If anything, it taught me to keep my commitments to at least 4 people.

If you can relate to any of this and want to be in a safe group with like minded people who are struggling then leave a comment with email contact, email me at beachbodysusie@gmail.com, follow me on Facebook as I have an online group for you or I can work with you one on one online or locally. Together we fight back.

Sometimes women have body image issues related to childhood loss. I know this personally. Here are some of my tips. 
12 Successful Weight Loss Tips:

1- You are NOT Alone with your Body Image Struggles
2-  21 Day Fix - learn to eat what your body needs
3- Make Time to Walk #MakeTime
4- Nutrition and Exercise Tips
5- How to Start Walking Tips #MakeTime 
6- Weight Loss Tips #MakeTime
7- Top 10 Healthy Changes to Make Today
8- Top 10 Ways to Make Exercise More Enjoyable #MakeTime
9- Follow my SusieQTpies Cafe for daily updates on Facebook
10- Join the Make Time Healthier Lifestyle Community on Facebook
11 - Join my FREE email list for at least 1-2 times a month updates on healthy living. 

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